


annoying assassin gf

by InLust



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Compliant, Comedy, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Office Romance, domesticated psychopath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 19:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InLust/pseuds/InLust
Summary: Oksana comes by Eve’s office and tries to poach a case because she’s bored. Eve’s not happy with her girlfriend doing that.





	annoying assassin gf

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, im just getting my feet wet writing villaneve because it's such a good ship. i've got no meta or anything like that i just think itd be funny to make them work together in an office and be in a relationship

A woman has been cut in half and plastered against the wall. The pool of blood is underneath her, streaming from her split body. 

Two men have had their heads severed and their bodies’ superimposed upon each other as one. 

A man has his throat cut and he drowned in his own blood, face down in the toilet. 

Crimson splatters across all of the glossy pages. It’s bold and imposing. It’s vivid in sight as the smell permeates the room. _Iron. Iron. Iron._ **Death. Death. Death.** The metallic smell overcomes the musky upsetting smell that turns the stomach. 

“Is it beautiful?” 

There’s a hint of jealousy. 

The thumb thoughtfully rubbing her bottom lip stops and Eve tilts her head to the woman beside her. 

“You’ve been staring for hours.” Oksana’s voice is low. It’s definitely jealousy. “Is this what you used to do with me?” 

Eve scoffs out a laugh. “Are you jealous?” she incredulously asks and underneath it she feels deeply flattered. Oksana scoffs, mirroring Eve’s arms across her chest and stares towards the photos. 

“Jealous,” she scoffs. Her jaw tightens and her eyebrows furrow as she stares at the photos, trying to find out why Eve’s so interested. 

Eve’s attention on the photos are abandoned and she fully turns to Oksana. “You're _so_ jealous,” she knowingly exclaims. "You have nothing to worry about; it's just an old case Carolyn assigned me." 

Oksana doesn’t respond. Instead she stares quite thoughtfully at the photos before the two of them. She crosses her arms just a bit more and the navy blue blazer tightens around her biceps. Eve unconsciously reaches up to Oksana’s strong arm and feels the way it flexes underneath her fingers. Now’s not the time to admire her assassin girlfriend, but she can never help herself. 

“I can find him,” Oksana finally says, interrupting Eve’s thoughts. 

“What?” Eve has to do a double take. 

"The killer. I assume he is still out there." Oksana nods, making up her mind. “I’ll find him. It’ll be easy.”

Eve furrows her brow. “What makes you so sure it’s a man? It’s clearly a woman. Look how tasteful the scenes are.” 

Oksana gasps mockingly turning to Eve. “How could you Eve? Do you think only women can be tasteful with murder?” 

“I wouldn’t be assigned this if they didn’t think it was a woman.” 

“Because your bosses are idiots.”

Eve slaps Oksana’s shoulder with the back of her hand. “Watch how you talk about our bosses.” She looks behind them to the open door of her office. 

Oksana snorts and leans in conspiratorially to her girlfriend. “According to Elena, our bosses are scared of me. Something about me killing a lot of people. Can you believe that?”

Eve rolls her eyes. “Shocking,” she says sarcastically. "By the way, there was blood at one of the scenes that didn't belong to the victims. DNA tests confirm it was female." Oksana turns to Eve’s desk to pick up one of the case files, flipping through the pages quickly. “Hey!” She possessively takes her work back. “What do you think you're doing this is my case?” 

Oksana rolls her eyes this time. “Give it to me. I want it.” 

Eve quickly closes all of the case files and stacks them so Oksana can’t take them. “No.” She chides like she’s chiding a cat. 

Oksana tilts her head down to look at Eve with a dark look. Her quite stare used to strike fear in Eve, but all of their time together has turned Oksana soft in Eve’s eyes. “I can find him faster than you.” 

Eve’s offended at the presumption of a male killer and her ineffectiveness to do her job. She quickly stands between her files and Oksana, putting a hand right on her chest to stop her. “No, don’t you dare.” Oksana scoffs and steps forward, pinning Eve against her desk. “I’m serious. If you take this case from me, I will make you sleep on the couch.” 

Oksana furrows her brow. “No you won’t. You like me in your bed too much.” 

True, but Eve remains firm, holding her head up high. “You have your own work to do, why are you trying to poach mine?” 

“Because yours are better. Carolyn gives me shit. I identified the assassins just like that.” She snaps her fingers proudly. “And now I have nothing to do because _they_ are going to collect them now.” At this Oksana stares sourly at the thought. Mostly offended, she can't get in on the action.

“So you want to steal my case so you can go hunting?” Oksana nods like it’s the most obvious thing. Eve shakes her head. “No! I’m not going to give you my case just so you can go kill someone.” 

Oksana throws her head back with a groan. “But I’m bored!” she exclaims. “And isn’t he like a bad guy? I can kill the bad guy for you if you want.” 

“That’s not what I want,” Eve says, but the dark corners of her mind knows this killer should be dead. “We have a shining justice system in place for a reason.” 

Oksana looks at Eve carefully. “Was that sarcasm?” 

Eve laughs at the missed cue. “It was not sarcasm.” Not entirely.

“You’re laughing now. Why is that funny?” Oksana frowns with annoyance. 

“Eve, I’m starving for a burger,” Elena suddenly appears in the doorway. She stops suddenly upon seeing Oksana there and a smile forms at the corner of her lips. “Oh how scandalous.” 

Both of them turn to look at her in confusion before looking at each other. They’re pressed against each other without even realizing it and Eve’s firmly against the desk and hand at Oksana’s chest. 

Eve rolls her eyes and steps out from between Oksana and her desk. “Oksana is just trying to steal my case,” she informs.

“Don’t you have your own cases?” Elena points out. 

“They’re boring!” Oksana exclaims as Eve simultaneously mocks her. Oksana looks at Eve, completely offended. 

Eve shrugs and throws her jacket on before grabbing her purse. “Let’s get lunch,” she says definitively. She reaches out for Oksana’s hand before she turns towards the unguarded case files. “Uh uh. Not a chance.” Eve drags her out of the office, before closing the door behind her, letting it automatically lock. She smiles sweetly at Oksana before linking their arms. “I’ll let you buy us lunch today.”

“Yes!” Elena exclaims as she hooks onto Oksana’s other arm. “I am dying for a milkshake!” 

Oksana throws her head back petulantly. “I’m not hungry!” 


End file.
